Diary #2: Being an Adult

Being an adult means, you gotta be brave enough to make choices in life. You gotta put on a brave face everyday cause nobody gives a shit if you are sad, everyone can replace you. You are not important, you are not special. Its such stupid way of thinking if you are thinking that you are special to someone other than your family. Your friends will get tired of your shit,  they will. In the end we can only tolerate it to a certain degree. Sometimes I just wanna give up, but no people say look how much you have accomplished today. Compare yourself to the old self not other people. I wanna feel positive about the little accomplishment ive made, but no its not enough sometimes i feel shitty about myself, especially if everyone around me succeeds and feel like they are lucky. I mean, of course i know they have put an effort in whatever they are doing but also because they know what they want. Me personally? I dont know what i want, so no matter how much i put my effort in, in will not work it will not favor in my way, it will not give me my luck. I wanna get angry at myself, at some point it used to work but now? Not anymore. Whenever i feel happy about stuff or things then people came and ruined them. I know its not mature to blame other people about shit that happens but guess what? Some people are just a jerk who doesnt like you at all, so there.